Every 2016 film I watched in 2016 from my least favourite to my favourite, 150-141

150 – Dennis Viollet: A United Man

Interesting documentary that occasionally slips too close to eulogy. That poem at the end really needs to go.

149 – Jem and the Holograms

Do you remember kaleidoscopes?  Yeah? Well, a bit like them, but with songs and people. And a robot.

148 – Bone Tomahawk

A horror/western mash up that would probably be far higher on my list if it hadn’t had the horror bits. I liked the western bits, especially the Kurt Russell bits, but the descent into horror offers very little except, I guess, a way of getting financial backing. I’m not against the mixing of genres, I just want more than western-western-western-western-TEARING A MAN IN HALF- western. If you are going to revise something, go all out, go crazy, be less white men vs the other, or at least have a brilliant soundtrack, like Ravenous.

147 – Chevalier

Brilliantly skewers male insecurity but as a consequence everyone on screen is a macho knobhead, and that can be a bit wearing after a while.

146 – Triple 9

Great cast, mostly wasted.

145 – Pitbull: Niebezpieczne Kobiety

Niebezpieczne Kobiety translates as Dangerous Women and this kind of sells itself as the story of female recruits to the Polish police but of the main six or seven characters in this sprawling Wire-like narrative only one or two are women. People get run over quite a bit.

144 – Bounty Hunters/ Shang jin lie ren

Chinese/Korean cops-and-robbers knockabout comedy. A tad too silly, probably.

143 – Evolution

On a Mediterranean island, a community of women and children do strange shit to each other. David Lynch: Spring Break!

142 – Finding Dory


This was probably the biggest disappointment of the year, though I seem to be the only person on earth who didn’t love it. I did love Finding Nemo, but this one, not so much. The characters seem to be united then separated then united then separated about a million billion times, I may have completely misread the first film (because Dory seems younger in this film than the last one), I’m not sure what the octopus adds to anything, the first film wisely split the whiny characters (Nemo and his dad) and put together they are insufferable…

I did like the Idris Elba and Dominic West as seals bit though. I’m not a monster.

141 – Independence Day: Resurgence

Not very good, but then neither was the first one. You get to see Jeff Goldblum in IMAX, which doesn’t happen nearly as much as it should. Anything after that is a bonus.