Every 2016 film I watched in 2016 from my least favourite to my favourite, 160-151

160 – Green Room

Not a bad film, just not my cup of tea at all.

159 – Skiptrace

Clumsy Jackie Chan vehicle. Not totally awful.

158 – Comix

A bit forgettable.

157 – X-Men Apocalypse

There are one or two moments of brightness, and Michael Fassbender is, obviously, very good (despite not having a lot to work with) but this is a turgid car crash of a movie. The ninth film in the X-Men universe, it still, somehow, manages to be an origin story. It has a very silly bad guy and a very silly plot. It is boring and stupid and I didn’t like it.

156 – Knight of Cups

Looks beautiful but is mostly pointless.

155 – Absolutely Fabulous

Apart from Jane Horrocks, who is great as always, it’s bollocks.

154 – Kung Fu Panda 3

There are moments of lovely animation but it’s ruined by its refusal to take anything seriously. Every single time somebody learns anything or says anything heartfelt the moment is immediately undermined with a shitty one-liner or a funny noise. It becomes draining after a while. I laughed twice though, which is one more time than I laughed during Absolutely Fabulous, and two times more than I laughed during any other movie on the list so far. We’re into the realms of the not terrible now.

153 – Little Men

Quite bland.

152 – ARQ

A noble attempt to do something interesting with a small budget. Short. Could have been shorter.

151 – Jane Got a Gun


What. The fuck. Is going on with Ewan McGregor’s eyebrows in this film? They are so distracting. I could think of nothing else. I still think of them now.  I dream of them. I long to understand them but know I never will. Man. Those eyebrows.