Every 2016 film I watched in 2016 from my least favourite to my favourite, 60-51

60 – A Beautiful Planet

One of those short made-for-IMAX-cinemas films, shot to show off the possibility of the format. Impossibly beautiful views of Earth shot from the International Space Station with extra bonus footage of what life is like living in orbit.

59 – The Beatles: Eight Days a Week – The Touring Years

I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s ‘The Beatles’ that’s superfluous in the title. Eight Days a Week – The Touring Years is considerably less cumbersome, and if you can’t work out that it’s about The Beatles, you probably don’t like The Beatles enough to watch a film about them, do you? You know, just saying.

If you do like The Beatles, you’ll like this. Loads of old footage of them playing gigs (though none in the Midlands, so my hopes of spotting my mom in the audience were scuppered) and doing interviews and things. You’ve seen a lot of it before but that isn’t the point really. Dude, it’s The Beatles.

The soundtrack is, as you would expect, preeeetty good.

58 – War Dogs

A based-on-a-true-story about two twenty-something gun runners that works as a comedy, a drama, a critique of capitalism, an argument that Bradley Cooper in glasses is the scariest thing ever, and a home for the year’s best pubic hair joke. Lovely stuff.

57 – Joy

Obviously, Jennifer Lawrence is great in this because she always is, but so is Robert DeNiro. You do wonder why, when he is still capable of performances like this, he ends up in films like Dirty Grandpa. Money, I suppose. Lots and lots of lovely money.

Anyway, this is a really good film that would have received much warmer reviews had it been about a man inventing a computery thing. Recommended to the maximum.

56 – Hell or High Water

Your annual reminder that Jeff Bridges is a god who walks among us.

55 – Learning to Drive

A clever, subtle film about friendship, independence and belonging. It also has possibly the only sex scene to justify its place in a movie, if that’s your sort of thing. OK, this and Team America. Oh, God, no, it’s not like the one in Team America. It’s really down-to-earth and realistic. No, this one is realistic because… oh blimey, I knew I’d get in a muddle if I brought up the sex scene. It isn’t really that important. Forget the sex scene. Forget I brought it up. No, not brought it up, mentioned it. Forget I said anything. OH JESUS! MOVE ALONG NEXT FILM! NEXT FILM!

54 – Queen of Katwe

Out-Creeding Creed in the heartwarming sports movie stakes, with children and chess instead of boxers and boxing. All round lovely from beginning to end.

53 – For the Love of Spock


In a word, heartwarming.

52 – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Call me cynical, but I suspect some people had decided they thought this was a stinker before they had even seen it.

Man of Steel upset a lot of Superman fans because Superman killed General Zod. They preferred older, more peaceful depictions, like in Superman II, when instead of snapping Zod’s neck to stop him killing a family, Superman removes Zod’s superpowers, crushes all the bones in his hand, and then throws him off a cliff. Oh, and then flies off, leaving Zod (if he survived the fall) to freeze to death in the Arctic. Now that was a hero!

And now we have Batman v Superman. No, it’s not perfect, of course it isn’t. And yes, it tries to do too much in too little time. And yes, the whole ‘two Marthas’ bit is bolllocks. And yes, Amy Adams isn’t given a lot to do. But, I don’t know, I liked it. I liked Ben Affleck as Batman, I liked Wonder Woman, I liked a lot of the explodey bits, I even liked Jesse Eisenberg’s version of Lex Luther. It’s a decent film. It is. No. No. No, you fuck off.

51 – The Meddler