19. Captain Jake and the Neverland Pirates

Jake was always the worst part of Jake and the Neverland Pirates and promoting him to captain for the fourth series was always going to be a disaster. Power corrupted him, and he became the fully fledged jerk he had always promised to become. As the series progresses, your sympathies transfer to Captain Hook.

Pirates aren’t good people, and the world’s obsession with them has always baffled me, but the early episodes of Jake and the Neverland Pirates managed to avoid the need to glamorise murder by centering the stories around children living in a world populated by pirates. They were pirates by default rather than desire, and above anything else they were friends, equals. As the series progressed, the ‘pirateness’ of the characters, especially Jake, was heightened. This imbalance of ‘pirateness’ lead to an imbalance of power, and Izzy and Cubby became subservient to Jake. The logical conclusion of this imbalance was his promotion to captain.

For those of you now lost, a summation: remember how the first Pirates of the Caribbean film was actually quite good, but then everything that followed was a shower of shit that no amount of guest stars could rescue? Well, like that, but with cartoon pirates.