EVERY SINGLE TYPE OF BISCUIT! RANKED!

Hah, ok, so… in what might be the most 2019 thing to happen to me yet, I need to close this list down for political reasons. And… And… I had done a spreadsheet with like five hundred different sorts of biscuits and everything. Then, last month, it turned out that the best biscuit in the world, the Choco Leibniz had been tainted by its association with, and there is no way of dressing this up nicely, actual Nazis. I’m not spending an hour of my time writing a series of vaguely amusing bits about what is essentially just baked flour, sugar and butter just to conclude the best one has a perfect chocolate to biscuit ratio but is also, allegedly, possibly, kinda, you know, evil. They probably aren’t evil. I think it’s more a case of somebody who is in line to inherit part of a family business being so insulated by wealth and privilege that they don’t understand their attempts at edgy humour just comes across as reprehensibly insensitive and/or crass and/or stupid. Or maybe they are evil. Or maybe they are just an asshat. I don’t know. It’s hard to keep up with all the Nazis in the news nowadays.

I do know that celebrating a biscuit with such unsavoury connotations in the current political climate, however fairly or unfairly they were won, would be a mistake. It’s a pity, because it means that I will no longer get to argue that Rich Teas are a hugely underrated biscuit or that HobNobs are bloody awful, but here we are. Here we are.

Let’s say bourbon biscuits are the best, then Jammy Dodgers, then something out of Border Biscuits range, maybe something with sultanas in them, then what? I don’t care…

I just don’t care…

Stupid biscuit Nazis.