OMG IT’S ONLY THE CHRISTMAS QUIZ!!!!!!!!

This is it! The big quiz. Time to win some stuff.

As you can see from the photo, there is quite a lot to win. Books, DVDs, CDs, toys, Comics, my terrible portraits of Meatloaf, badges, chocolates, and loads and loads of other stuff.

So how do you win? Easy. I did a lot of anagrams. You need to rearrange them.

I don’t think anyone will get all fifty. So, if you can solve twenty five then your name will go in the hat. Get thirty five right and I will put your name in the hat twice. Solve forty and I will put your name in the hat five times. Get every answer correct and I’ll put your name in the hat ten times. But nobody will get them all. Will they?

I probably didn’t need to do so many, but I was enjoying myself. The important thing to remember is, you only need to solve half of them to be in with a chance of winning. You can do that. I believe in you.

And it’s Christmas Day. What else are you going to do this afternoon?

Send your answers to benjaminjudge11 @ gmail . com. Give me your name but don’t bother sending me an address or anything like that. I’ll contact the winner to arrange delivery. The deadline is the 31st of December. I’ll put the answers up and announce the winner on the 1st of January.

Some clues to help you…

  • The solution to every anagram is the title and author of a book published in 2019
  • The anagrams are ordered alphabetically by the authors last name (the second last name if it’s double barrelled)
  • All commas, apostrophes and question marks in an anagram belong in the solution too

And a warning…

  • One or two of the anagrams ended up sounding a bit rude. You might want to take that into account before asking your nan for help. Or at least wait until she’s on her second sherry.

OK. Here we go.

  1. Ed Sheeran jams hot length in willow fan
  2. Team Statham regrets wooden tat
  3. Ellie save the badger’s jism
  4. I give Bono an arse milk carer
  5. At birth, we charted teal knob cheese
  6. Phil Wang cupped a rare lout spoon
  7. Carl Jung frotting her alien hen in Eden
  8. I’d love her on my neat chute area?
  9. I say yes David lass
  10. Do Star Trek up my ham plank
  11. Well my porky nub crust, Uncle Dan
  12. A warrior lover sang, do it then, be in me
  13. A finger is a bonbon
  14. Not if Bobby Moore will feel frail
  15. A felch on our llama weenie
  16. Then filthy walrus helmets make Gucci harder
  17. A lean elfe hears Phil Daniels fuck a very tall tree
  18. His vile vent shits a hard coin
  19. A nun groans sand up her randy loin hole
  20. We have really creamed his currant
  21. Iain ate out his meaty nads
  22. Well, Frank Lampard jeers a cold moob
  23. He rues jacking faint male
  24. Neon jot helm
  25. Enable top tit city
  26. Be enticed climb on a Grindr dad
  27. Dandy moose vagina?
  28. Wank a zebra cable comely wench
  29. Soak titty in urine you moo
  30. Land in their farty plume cheese
  31. Petal nuke a whale nunny over this zone of junky come
  32. Ban her and toilet
  33. Bang my hole dry eerie genie
  34. Pump me a cane until my teenage tool has gone off
  35. Learn my porn tax
  36. Pump rice into me then chomp all the walls
  37. Weird nan wanks it in
  38. I scanned her seal porn
  39. We undervalue your heavy tit magazines
  40. Landfill this pert male or wed
  41. Dani Dyer led their longish banana
  42. Shag in prim slit
  43. Dido nuts a hazing miner
  44. He adores a steam
  45. We charm cacti beast
  46. Cher farting on an oboe to make it smell of angered suet
  47. Jack Lemmon varies louse metaphors
  48. Afraid we see if Batman did a lewd foursome
  49. Eat tiny eel willies in our gland?
  50. Lindy his jean piece

 

1 Comment

  1. My main problem here is that you’ve done such a good job of generating bizarrely rude phrases that I don’t dare start the quiz in case it turns out to be a prank, and they don’t lead to any actual books – just an idiot spending his afternoon scratching his head over a series of obscene haiku!
    (Also I’m a philistine and don’t know any books from 2019. But I’ve chosen to put the blame on the sense of walking into a trap!)
    If they are real, I’m very impressed!

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