Remember when The Pointer Sisters were so excited that they just couldn’t hide it? No? Of course you do. Remember? They were about to lose control and, contradicting what you might have expected, they thought they liked it. Remember now? Yeah? Cool. Because I don’t know any more words to that song. My The Pointer Sisters joke, weak as it undeniably is, has run its course. We need to move on. Here we go…
The point (no pun intended, but I’m not about to look in the thesaurus for a synonym for ‘point’ or anything so it’s staying in the text)… the point is: I too am excited. I too just can’t hide it. I’m not about to lose control – I’m a tad too reserved for that kind of nonsense – but if I weren’t (reserved) I may be (about to lose control) and I suspect I would (think I was going to) like it.
Huh. What do you know. I got another paragraph out of the The Pointer Sisters bit. Nice.
Incidentally, it’s worth pointing out here, The Pointer Sisters were bloody brilliant and you should go and stream their album Break Out immediately (or at the very least go and listen to Automatic) because you are worth it. Treat yourself.
Where was I? Oh yeah, the new look for the blog. Being excited. Did I mention I was excited? I probably did.
You know what? This blog post was going to be really neat, and official-like, and controlled, but I have lost control of it. Oh well. At least I’m enjoying myself.
Yes. I know. I’VE LOST CONTROL AND I THINK I LIKE IT! Oh my! So that’s what that feels like. Well, well, well. I say.
I’ll do an update on my attempt to see two hundred birds this year. Think of the tension. Will I make it? Will I get to two hundred? (Spoiler: No. No I won’t.)
I’ll continue my countdown of my favourite albums of the 1990s. Will America’s Least Wanted by Ugly Kid Joe make the Top 80? (Spoiler: Of course it won’t. Don’t be silly.)
Wednesdays are a bit special because they are different each week. The first Wednesday of the month is all about Muriel Spark. The second Wednesday of the month is Planet Hollywood SMACKDOWN!!! (which I will explain when we get to it. The third Wednesday of the month is, the already beloved, ‘A writing to-do list for…’ feature. The fourth Wednesday of the month is, probably going to be food related… I think… Sometimes months have five Wednesdays. I haven’t worked out what I’m going to do about that.
This will all make sense when we get to it, I promise. (Spoiler: It probably won’t. Soz.)
This one is going to be great. I’m going to work out what the best weekend newspaper is. Why? Because they are there.
Which newspaper will be crowned the best of them all? (Spoiler: Errrrrr, I’ve run out of spoiler bits. Errrrm… no. Nothing.)
All Statham, all the time. (Stather: Stath.)
Each month I will try to do something. January was trying to give up meat for a month. It didn’t go brilliantly but I only ate meat a couple of times. I failed but the planet won a little bit. I learned an important lesson. I ate a bad sausage. Maybe in future months I will be less shit at the simple task I set myself. Who knows? Not me. (Spoiler: I will never, ever, complete one of these things. Save yourself the heartache; get used to the idea now.)
I dunno. I’ll probably watch every episode of The New Adventures of Lois and Clark and blog about the experience or something like that. (Spoiler: I’m still thinking about what to do on a Sunday.)