We all want to be remembered for a food. To join the illustrious ranks of the Earl of Sandwich, Richard Cox, Rudolph Hass, Per Janzon, Dame Nellie Melba, The Colonel, Ronald McDonald, Monkey off the PG Tips adverts, That Weetabix that said OK!, The California Raisins, The robots that invented powdered potato, and Charles ‘Tomato’ Soup. Who could ask for more?
So this is me, having a go at that, with my special sandwich that I invented.
Do you know who invented the Reuben? No. Because nobody does. Nobody wrote it down. Nobody claimed it. The facts are lost in the mists of time. So, unlike Reuben Kolakovsky and/or Arnold Reuben, I have taken the precaution of putting my first and last name to my sandwich. I’m not having Floella Benjamin or Judge Judy waltzing in in seventy years time and taking the credit for my hard work. I like them, they are good people, but this is my sandwich.
A Recipe for the ‘Benjamin Judge’ sandwich, by Benjamin Judge.
- Spread a thin layer of mayonnaise on two pieces of wholemeal bread.
- Place four fish fingers on one of the slices of bread.
- Place a waffle on the fish fingers.
- Put stilton on top of the waffle.
- And salt and pepper on top of that.
- And finally, the other slice of bread goes on the top, obvs.
- Must delicious. So eat more. Very tell all my friends.
I know what you are thinking but no, it is actually delicious. Nobody believed me when I tried to make this a thing five years ago but I’m hoping now, with the quarantine induced boredom and the rise of people doing things on TikTok and the like, it could go viral this time.
Oh, and a quick heads up before anyone claims to have invented this already. 1.) fuck off did you invent it before me, and 2.) It’s got my name on it so shut up you big stupid.