Zaha Hadid

The Twelve Dames of Christmas, part three.

Zaha Hadid’s 3D printed Christmas decoration looks like a Christmas tree. It looks like other things too. Lots of things. The amount of things it looks like is limited only by your imagination. Like her architecture, it is at once definitively the thing it is supposed to be but also a way of imagining the things it isn’t. In that sense… (he pauses to pat himself smugly on the back) …it is a lot like Christmas: both one thing and a billion different things, depending on who is viewing it, and how.

Clever opening, eh? Such a shame then, that now I have established a concept I have absolutely nothing to back it up with.

Christmas is a thing though all right, and no mistake.

Have you made any decorations this year? Or ever? I like the idea of making my own decorations but when I do they usually end up looking a bit shit. I don’t have a 3D printer of course, which makes the construction of abstract shapes more complicated than it might be otherwise, but still…

A few years ago I made a Christmas angel for the top of the tree using a coat hanger, some foil, some card and a Clanger and that looked pretty good. (Not a real Clanger of course. Just a Clanger toy. I’m not a monster. Real Clangers should be allowed to roam free.) I painted a pottery heart (a very basic drawing of me and the family) and that hangs proudly toward the top of the tree. I bought a make-your-own peg dolls kit for 75p in the Waterstones sale five years ago. They are still in the box. Broadly speaking though, I do like making stuff. I should make some more.

I do have a plan for a nativity scene made out of rubbish but it may be beyond my skills as an artist. When I say I have a plan for a nativity scene made out of rubbish what I actually mean is, I have saved three beer bottle tops (one gold, one silver, one bronze) that I think would make nice crowns for three wise kings. As plans go, it’s not exactly a blueprint. It’s not exactly an instruction manual.

You can make a really cool Die Hard bauble with some foil and a picture of Bruce Willis but not without taking a stand on the whole ‘what is the best Christmas film?’ argument. You won’t catch me wading into that annual bore fest. No thank you. No, no no.

Oh, go on then.

The best Christmas film is Arthur Christmas.

Probably.

Or maybe it isn’t.

You should watch it though, if you haven’t already. Very heartwarming, your Arthur Christmas.