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25th August – 2nd December, 2014

Hello. I’m just here to tell you to keep a diary. It will help you to remember all the cool things you do. That way, should you decide to do a blog post about what you did in, say, oh I don’t know, the autumn of 2014, you will actually have something to write.

27th January, 2014 – 11th May, 2014

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is released Emily starts to walk and talk Russia annexes Crimea Harold Ramis dies I’m enormously sceptical of the idea of ‘first words’. Children make sounds that over time become words and some of us pick one of those sounds and decide it was probably a word. Except for your child of course. They definitely said an actual word. I wouldn’t dream of questioning that. No, no, no. That isn’t to suggest this isn’t a ridiculously exciting time. Emily taking her first steps, then staggering… Read more 27th January, 2014 – 11th May, 2014

14th October, 2013 – 26th January, 2014

India launch the Mars Orbiter Mission, becoming the first Asian country to reach another planet China land a robot on the moon I buy the Lexx boxset and then realised it wasn’t anywhere as good as I thought it was when I was a teenager I sell the Lexx boxset Latvia adopts the Euro You never forget your child’s first Christmas. Honestly. There’s no way you forget what happened. I could give you details of Emily’s first Christmas that would blow your mind… I could give you so many details…… Read more 14th October, 2013 – 26th January, 2014

1st July, 2013 – 13th October, 2013

President Morsi is deposed in a military coup My sister, her husband, and their daughter visit Manchester for the day Andy Murray wins Wimbledon Peter Capaldi becomes the new Doctor Who To be honest, I’m drawing a blank on this one. According to Amazon, I bought a kettle.

18th March, 2013 – 30th June, 2013

Rebel forces capture the capital of the Central African Republic Jo goes back to work and I become a stay-at-home parent Chinua Achebe dies I start entering competitions during nap time. I win a few things Wigan win the FA Cup On the first day I was alone with Emily she managed to take one of the fake coals from the fireplace and eat most of it. Neighbours, now friends, helped me fish bits of black out of her mouth, ring NHS Direct, and google the toxicity of artificial coal.… Read more 18th March, 2013 – 30th June, 2013

5th November, 2012 – 17th March, 2013

Barack Obama wins a second term I get an MA in Creative Writing The Mayans are wrong about the world ending American scientists print an ear, in 3D, using actual ear materials like collagen and that I become a parent. The first weather I showed to my daughter through the window of the hospital was snow but it had changed to rain by the time we ran out of babygrows and I had to walk to ASDA to buy more. I got so wet I had to buy myself a… Read more 5th November, 2012 – 17th March, 2013

December, 2018

Hello. I’m back and that. How are you? Good? Good. So, December. This month I am revisiting the big questions of 2018. Cultural, political, that sort of thing. Hopefully my answers will solve all misunderstandings between the people of the world and bring peace on earth for everybody. Or they will approach being, but not quite be, insightful. Or they will be vaguely amusing. I’ll chuck in a few swears to be on the safe side.