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12th December, 2016 – 26th March, 2017

There are not many lessons that can be taught about how to be a parent beyond the scientific and the general. Children need food, water, warmth, oxygen, attention. You know that. Almost everything else you will have to learn for yourself, and will be dependent on the whims of your child, your life, where you live, etc. I have very little to pass on to prospective parents beyond, ‘don’t panic’ and ‘things generally work out for the best’. Do your best and you’ll be ok. If you live anywhere except… Read more 12th December, 2016 – 26th March, 2017

29th August – 11th December, 2016

The more observant of you will have noticed that the content provided this month is little more than an exercise in me getting back into the routine of blogging. Nothing wrong with that of course, and think how exciting things will get when I am back in the bloggy groove and no longer typing things like bloggy groove. It’s going to be amaztastic to the bloggy groove maximum. Which is another way of saying, I can’t remember what I did during this time either. I went on a train from… Read more 29th August – 11th December, 2016

1st February – 15th May, 2016

Holidays, eh? So it turns out I missed a couple. One of the posts last week, when I said I couldn’t remember what we did during those months? We went to Center Parcs… and Edinburgh… Both were really good but it is too late to tell you about them now.¬†Sorry. I can only reiterate how important keeping a diary is. I promise to present better summations of the past in future. Anyway, 2016. It was around this time that Emily first got into dens. The arm chair pushed to the… Read more 1st February – 15th May, 2016

19th October, 2015 – 31st January, 2016

OK, so I made a few notes while drafting this idea of a big catch-up month. For this blog post I have two notes. ‘Made cakes’ and ‘New trainers’. I now have no idea what either of those things mean. So…

6th July – 18th October, 2015

Ah me, oh my, this was a time and a half. Emily having a, quite common in children, phase of being extremely sensitive to noise coincided with us having a new bathroom fitted and I had to take her out all day, every day and I slowly went mad trying not to have anxiety attacks in Eureka or trying not to spend money in Hebden Bridge, or trying to find a reason to be in Brighouse when you went there by mistake. (The answer is buying bubbles in big Tesco… Read more 6th July – 18th October, 2015

23rd March – 5th July, 2015

As far as I can tell, spring 2015 was the season when Emily had her first McDonald’s. I love McDonald’s even if nobody else does. They are cheap, and they are in every town, and they don’t assume all children like hummous, which, I can assure you, they don’t, because it is just brown paste. Stop feeding people brown paste. If I had a penny for every time I looked at a children’s menu in a cafe or restaurant and seen three options, each priced at ¬£5.95, and thought, “Well,… Read more 23rd March – 5th July, 2015

3rd December, 2014 – 22nd March, 2015

I should have come up with a better way of splitting up the last six years because after the bleak nothing of yesterday’s round-up, today I have way too much. So much that I am going to have to split the next sentence up with semicolons; which may upset those of you who believe, incorrectly, that it can only be used for dividing a sentence in two or something. I don’t care. I; am; unrepentant. Go edit my ass. Anyway, there was… Emily’s second Christmas; a New Year’s walk in… Read more 3rd December, 2014 – 22nd March, 2015